In 2 weeks, my wife and I will be visiting California for the first time. She’s looking forward to photoshoots and writing sessions in LA (she’s an independent Alt-Rock artist), and I’m stoked about the beachside cliffs in San Diego.
Before any of that happens, we have a whirlwind of chaos to face.
Currently, our friend is on vacation in Colorado. He will be returning just as another friend from New York is arriving for a week-long visit.
During that visit, my wife and I have to go back to Missouri for a wedding.
To pull this off, we’ve reorganized our schedules - working extra hard to make sure we can afford to go to California and take time off for our friends and the wedding.
It's times like these when the true nature of life's chaos reveals itself.
There's a common tendency to view such periods as temporary disruptions, after which life will return to "normal." I've often caught myself thinking, "Once this month is over, things will calm down." However, this perspective is neither helpful nor accurate.
It fails to acknowledge the persistent nature of life's unpredictability.
This realization became particularly apparent during our move from Missouri to Nashville. We anticipated a smooth return to normalcy upon settling in our new home…
But of course, the universe had other plans.
We faced unexpected job losses, sold our car to pay rent, and I found myself navigating a brutal series of career changes while having no idea how things were going to work out.
Just when one challenge was resolved, another would emerge.
Looking back on my marriage, we’ve had many phases like this - yet we always emerge more capable and fortunate than before.
The truth is, chaos is not a temporary state - it’s a constant companion in our lives. For us to live in harmony with this unavoidable partner, we must first understand it.
What is Entropy?
At the heart of this challenge lies one of the most fundamental forces in the universe: entropy.
In essence, entropy is the natural tendency of systems to move from order to disorder. It's the reason why, despite our best efforts, dishes pile up in the sink and meticulously planned schedules often fall apart in the face of unexpected events.
This perpetual struggle against entropy affects every aspect of our lives.
It impacts our productivity, as we find ourselves constantly trying to catch up.
It takes a toll on our mental well-being, generating stress and anxiety as we attempt to keep pace with the chaos.
It shakes our sense of fulfillment and purpose, leaving us feeling as though we're always a step behind our aspirations.
The key to harmony lies in not eliminating entropy - but learning to manage it effectively.
Understanding Entropy in Our Lives
Entropy extends far beyond the realm of advanced physics; it's a concept that applies to our daily existence.
Like the dishes, your workspace is another perfect example: even with careful organization, it naturally tends towards disorder over time. Papers accumulate, cables tangle, and items seem to vanish inexplicably.
This principle extends to our schedules, relationships, and personal goals. We establish order, but the natural flow of life always disrupts it.
There's always another project, another busy period, another unexpected challenge waiting on the horizon.
Interestingly, this concept of balance between order and chaos is not unique to modern physics or psychology. Ancient philosophies, such as Daoism, have long recognized this dynamic.
The Daoist concept of Yin and Yang represents the balance between opposing forces, with Yang often symbolizing order and Yin representing chaos - among other things. This philosophy teaches that both are necessary and interconnected, much like our modern understanding of entropy and order.
Managing Entropy, Continuously
Effectively dealing with entropy requires a shift in our mindset. Rather than viewing order as a destination to reach and maintain, we must recognize it as a continuous process.
A store manager doesn't set rules once and expect things to remain orderly indefinitely. Instead, they engage in continuous management of people and systems to ensure smooth operations.
For us, this ongoing management begins with identifying our true priorities.
We can’t manage entropy in all areas of our lives 100% of the time; we have to prioritize our efforts. Recently, I’ve set specific goals for my creativity and writing career, and I've had to reassess my desire for an “ideal” exercise routine.
While this decision has resulted in a slight decrease in overall fitness, it has also reduced my stress levels—a trade-off I'm willing to accept for the time being.
Boundaries and Communication
Sometime within this past year, I heard a quote that went something like this:
“In life, you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you tolerate.”
I think this neatly applies to managing entropy.
Once we've identified our priorities, the next step is establishing clear boundaries to protect them. This involves being specific about what we will and will not tolerate in our lives.
For instance, in pursuit of my goal to reach 616 paid subscribers on Substack by year's end, I've established clear conditions.
I've committed to not rescheduling my dedicated work times unless faced with genuine emergencies involving a specific list of individuals. This level of specificity is crucial for effective entropy management.
However, setting boundaries is only half the equation. We must also clearly communicate these boundaries to help our loved ones understand what this goal/desire means to us, and what part they play in it.
While this may initially feel uncomfortable, it's essential for managing entropy effectively.
Consistent Action = Confidence
Confidence stems from proof.
If we want to feel confident in our ability to manage entropy and maintain order in our lives, we have to create undeniable evidence that we can do so.
This is where consistent action becomes crucial. Each time we adhere to our boundaries and fulfill our commitments to ourselves, we build proof. We demonstrate to ourselves that we are indeed capable of managing chaos.
In the past, I’ve struggled many times to create sufficient proof that I can withstand the pressure of entropy. Unmet goals, broken promises, and countless embarrassing failures all have contributed to my lack of confidence in my ability to create the life I want.
However, maintaining consistency with my Substack goal over the past few weeks has been immensely rewarding. Successfully checking off each commitment has strengthened my confidence and reinforced my belief in my ability to achieve whatever I put my mind to.
Actionable Steps for Managing Entropy
Identify and prioritize your non-negotiables: Determine the areas of your life where maintaining order is absolutely essential. Focus your energy on these priorities.
Create systems for managing predictable entropy: Develop consistent routines for regular tasks such as household chores or work projects to stay ahead of potential chaos.
Develop a framework for handling unpredictable events: Establish a flexible plan for adjusting your schedule and priorities when faced with unexpected occurrences.
Set and communicate clear boundaries: Be specific about your limits and ensure that important people in your life understand and respect these boundaries.
Track progress and acknowledge small victories: Maintain a record of your entropy management efforts. Celebrate instances where you successfully maintain order, regardless of their apparent magnitude.
The Value of Entropy Management
It's important to remember that managing entropy isn't about achieving perfect order in every aspect of life. Instead, it's about maintaining enough order to live purposefully and pursue what truly matters to you.
In a society that feels increasingly chaotic and unpredictable, the ability to manage entropy is a powerful skill. It enables us to navigate chaos without being overwhelmed, helping us maintain a sense of purpose and direction even when faced with uncertainty.
The Daoist concept of circular time pairs well with the Yin and Yang.
Rather than seeing time—and by extension, order and chaos—as a linear progression, this perspective views it as cyclical (just like the Yin and Yang).
This view encourages us to approach the management of entropy not as a one-time battle to be won, but as a natural rhythm to be understood and worked with. It reminds us that periods of chaos are not permanent setbacks, but transformative phases leading to new forms of order in our lives.
I often view my future as this seamless machine - a perfect balance of work, play, and family - where I’ve worked out all the kinks and have no more chaotic phases.
I could very easily view my upcoming California trip in the same way: “As soon as we get out there, THEN we can relax and everything will go smoothly.”
But who am I kidding? If I’ve learned anything from writing this article, I must admit that I’m better off preparing for the challenges I’ll face as well, because they’re on their way regardless.
By shifting my mindset, setting clear boundaries, and consistently taking action, I’m learning to dance with chaos rather than being consumed by it.
You can too.
And in this dance, we may discover the meaning and fulfillment we seek.
What area of your life does chaos seem particularly prominent? How might you apply the principles of entropy management to strike a better balance?